THERE ARE NO BREAKS……….

 

THERE ARE NO BREAKS……….

This fact has been made clear to me time and time again……

There are no nights out to relax…be with the wife….enjoy…….

Where the servant of GOD is not required to speak of GOD and remind others of GOD….

And so on and so forth…

And such is my life……and I relish it beyond and above all things….

Even in times like this………

Note: My deepest apologies to those that sent funding and have not yet received replies concerning their sacrifices for my sake

I have decided that I overthink things…perhaps too much….

Some have sent goodly sums

And some

All that they could send…under the circumstances

All are held in the same precious state….

I truly mean to get to you all

To thank you for your sacrifices

And continued and new and renewed support……

Please to give me a week or so to fulfill such requirement(s)

I humbly beg thee………..

In the end…perhaps I overthink things too much

Always striving to deliver personal and heartfelt messages

That are deserved at the time…..

But how many ways can one say….”THANK YOU FOR ALL AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AND US AND FOR UOR BEHALF!”?

AND STILL….

I TRY

REPEATEDLY

TO FIND A WAY TO THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO AND ALL THAT YOU DO AND ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE

ON MY AND OUR BEHALF………….

I…even i

Think that a simple note of thanks is not enough

And I must strive to treat each instance

Each donation as if it were the first and last…….

As it should be

And render unto ye ones…the gratitude and feeling that each one deserves….

And that takes time…….

Because I constantly agonize over meanings

Not wishing to offend anyone

And then

Still

In the course of that agonizing

To make each and everyone feel appreciated……according to the measure

That THEY feel that they have given

To who and what I am

In all of this….

There is and was and has been and will be….

No other recourse that to offend someone

Because I did not act

According to their expectations of my response

To their actions in giving

And act accordingly……

To their hopes and wishes and thoughts and feelings

That are between them and GOD……

Mind you

It is not that I blame them

Any of them

At all……….

I am slow to respond

Because I am always searching for the right words and feelings

And the conveyances

Of those right words and feelings

To deliver to them

My humble and absolute gratitude to them

For all that they mean to mean to me

Not just for all that they do or have done

But…for all that they mean to me

In that they have decided

For whatever reason and reasons

To support

This

Being

Who and what I am

In all of this…..

THIS IS WHAT I AM MOST THNKFUL AND GRATEFUL FOR……..

That they have hope in and believe in me and what I say and what I am in WHAT I AM…..

There is no substitute for that

Either they feel it…..in me…being who and what I am….or not….

It is up to them

And if i

Being i

Do not or cannot…..exemplify my appreciation to them

In enough time…….

I may lose them…….at least….financially…..

And this has happened…

And so I had to really think about it…..

What is it that I am really trying to accomplish….

In all of this….

Material salvation…

Please help- me pay my bills?

Or

Living as one…forever…in the Fathers Will

Being the Father’s servant….?

Am I THE FATHER’S TRUE SERVANT?

SIGH [big sigh here]

IN THE END ….THAT IS NOT FOR ME TO SAY……

I AM WHAT I AM….

AFTER ALL……..

WHATEFVER ANYONES DOES TO SUPPORT ME

HOWEVER

WHENEVER

WHYEVER

IS ALL UP TO THEM

AND BETWEEN THEM ANED GOD ALONE

I CAN’T DO A THING ABOUT THAT

NOR WOULD I DESIRE TO…..

YE ONES MUST MAKE UP YOUR OWN MINDS

HOW TO APPROACH GOD

THE ONE OF ONES

SOURCE OF SOURCES

AND SO ON AND SO FORTH

 

YE MAY BYPASS WHO AND WHAT I AM

ME

AND GO FAR BEYOND ALL AND EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TO OFFER TO YOU TO HELP YOU

IN MY STRUGGLE TO OFFER ANYTHING AND SOMETHING

THAT ACTUALLY DOES HELP YOU

I PRAY THAT I HAVE HELP ANYONE

AND IF I HAVE ODNE SO

I AM GRATEFUL

BUT IN THE INTERIM

AND THE MEANTIME

HERE I AM

BEING THIS

AND DOING THIS

AND IT IS UP TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

ALL OF YOU THAT READ HERE

TO DO WITH THIS

ALL OF IT

AS YOU PLEASE

PLEASE

DON’T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT ME

THAT YOU LET YOUR OWN LIVES USFFER

AND PLEASE

DON’T GIVE ANYTHING TO ME

THAT YOU FEEL OR THINK

YOU MIGHT REGRET LATER……..

IT AIN’T RIGHT…

I HAVE RECEIVED AND I HAVE GIVEN

AND I HAVE BEEN MADE TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE

AND APPRECIATE BOTH SIDES

AS BEING IN GOD’S WILL

BUT THAT’S ME

YOU

YOU ARE WHO AND WHAT YOUA RE

AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT

AND CAN ONLY ASK

THAT YOU DO AND EVERYTHING

TO GO

CONTINUE

STRUGGLE

TO GO FORWARD

SURIVIE

CONTINUE

IN THE WY

THE PATH

THE WAY AND PATH OF GOD

THE GREAT SPIRAL PATH OF LIFE

ETERNAL AND INFINTE

AND WHEN

AND WHEN AND UNTIL

AND THEN

THEN

WILL YOU SEE AND HEAR AND KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT ALL IS TRULY ONE AND ONE IS TURLY ALL

AND ALL OF THIS IS ONE

AND IN ALL OF THIS ONENESS OF ALL THINGS

HERE YOU ARE

HERE AND NOW

AND STILL

IN THE GREAT THERE AND THEN

OF ALL THINGS

IN THE PERCEPTION

OF TIME AND SPACE

AS BEING ONLY PERCEPTION

OF YOUR………UNDERSTANDING AND CONSIDERATION

OF ALL THINGS AS ONE AND AT ONCE…

THAT REALITY AND LIFE AND ALL AND EVERYTHING AND EXISTENCE AND CREATION

TRULY IS….

YOU WILL BECOME

BEYOND REALIZATION AND RECOGNITION AND SEEING AND BEING AND DOING AND EXPERIENCEING

THAT WHICH IS GOD BEING YOU

AND KNOW

THE TRUE MEANING OF WHAT IT IS TO SAY AND BE AND DO AND MEAN AND EXPERIENCE AND MAKE

YOUR REALITY

THE VERY FACT AND REALITY

OF WHAT IT IS

TO TURLY AND FULLY BE

YOU BEING GOD……….

 

 

Forgive me for this……..it was on my mind…

With all and everything that is going on

Do you really need this to deal with?

Lol

I care not…really…this is reality

Your reality

My reality

If there is a difference at all

It is only because of perception

On your part

On my part

You decide the difference

I

I must go back to what I was doing in the world……..

I will write thank you emails to all that have been so helpful as to give of themselves in such matters and manners as they have…….

As time permits and has permitted….

This statement seemed more important at the time…please forgive me for this……

I will get to all soon…..

Somehow….

Simple thank you emails….

Maybe this is my problem…after all…

I feel that I must find wording that is equal to the perceived sacrifice of those that given for my sake in spite of themselves….

Can a simple “THANK YOU’ ever be enough?

Not in my eyes…….

If ye ones are willing to accept such…for your giving to me, for my sake…

Then let me say

To all of you as one:

THANK YOU

Now

And still

Give me a week or two….

And I will have individual thanks to all and every one of you

As best I can…….

And pray you forgive me for the time that it takes……

But…

Still

Here I am

 

 

 

So much to be done

 

So much to do

So little time

For whatever reason and reasons

Here I am

Doing my best

What I can

To be of service to each and every one and all of you

Forgive me my failures and shortcomings and limitations

I am here

I am getting stronger

And it is never enough

One can never do enough

It is never enough

Must do more

Must be stronger

Must help

Must be

Must do

Must

Ascend

Must give my all

No matter what

Must make it

Must cross that unseen and unknown line

Must love

Must be must shine

Must do

Must….

Must……

Must……

No matter that there is no end…..

Must …….

Must….no matter….

No matter….

No matter….

Must…….all that I am

Must

It will never be enough…and still…..

Must…..

Must…….

Forward…

Must

Higher

Deeper

Inwards

More

Must

Keep

Going

No

Matter

What

Sorry

Don’t

Want

To

Leave

Anyone

Behind

Must

Must

Must

Sorry

So sorry

Have to keep going

No matter what

Love doesn’t matter

Hope doesn’t matter

You are you

I am i

All are responsible for the progress of the self in GOD

And GOD in their SELF

It is an individual session, after all

Your life

ONE life

GOD’S LIFE

THEIR LIFE

ONE LIFE

GOD’S LIFE

It is all the same…….

It is up to you who and what you are and where you end up

It is up to me to help

And still

It is up to me to decide where I end up

While trying to help…as best I can

Is any of this shit really helping?

I know it is…

And still

I wonder……

But that’s my fault

And still…….

Nevermind

Nevermind

Nevermind

All in GOD’S WILL

That’s all that mattersGOD’s WILL

Is all that matters

PLEASE LET ME DO AND BE THAT

NO MATTER WHAT

I PRAY AND HOPE AND STRIVE TO DO AND BE

TO DO AND BE AS GOD IS…….

WITH ALL THAT I AM……

THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS…

GOD’S WILL

NO MATTER WHAT……

But that’s me……..

You do and be as you will……

Just know that I love you and GOD loves you

No matter what……

In all of this

No matter what

GOD LOVES YOU

And so do I

Enuff said…..

This is the end of the free time moment that I have stolen from myself to give

While my own life is happening

Your life is happening, as well

Deal with it accordingly…….

 

KIBODABI

About KIBODABI

I AM THAT I AM THAT I AM
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