CONFESSIONAL….WITH APOLOGIES….

Tonight is a lunar eclipse…..before the end of the month there will be a solar eclipse….somewhere between that time there is a jewish holiday…..Yom Kippur….another one of those holidays where you can expect a celebration of and through war and murder and death and devastation…….but something is different………I’ve gotten to the point where I can figure out what I’m experiencing on certain levels…I used to watch…well…I still do…all the star wars animated episodes…..and I’ve seen the movies…I love that: “There is a disturbance in the force…” discernments…now…I think I know what that actually means……

I’ve always heard tones, from time to time…I knew it meant something…but I hadn’t really figured it out until recently……..left ear…bad…right ear…good…….lol….yeah…it’s like that….and then there’s the feeling that goes with it…not really a feeling….a sense……I don’t know what to call it…but it’s there…and I’ve finally figured out why and what and how it is this thing that I am experiencing…so I’m flowing with it in realization and that helps immensely……

Mostly I get left ear shit…..the last tone I had, I just knew something stupid had happened….and sure enough, Iran had an, apparently, mossad attack………..

So I’m getting the hang of all this and in the meantime….i’m learning how to discern the fluctuations that I am experiencing……..it’s….fascinating……but it’s serious shit…..so I’m learning what means what and how…..i just have to wait to hear about the where of it…..i already know why…smile…..

Mind you…I’ve been getting this stuff for years and never really know what it meant…now I have to deal with the realization of it…like all of the sudden…it was…like…oh shit!!!! THAT”S what that means….fuck!!!……..what do I do now?

Deal with it…….accept it…learn what to do with it…..use it and let it use you……to get the job done…..

Do the work…the work is within……..that’s the job…..be on the job and do your job and work it……..

WORK IT BABY!!!!!

*ahem*….anyway……

Today….i got a right ear tone…….i’m just doin’ my thing…driving the bus and there it is…….

And that’s when I realized the difference……PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE LAPTOP!!!!!!

Okay…it was a new experience for me…..and it’s always a beautiful thing to have a new experience…..that’s how you learn

For better or for worse

The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly of it all in experience…it’s just that…experience

Be thankful for it…it means you’re living and alive

Physically or spiritually or in any other way that counts…you’re here all the time……

Whatever ‘here’ may mean to you

For some…it means everywhere all at once

Or just everywhere all the time

It depends

Smile

So anyway………I am happy and confident in saying that i, even I, am and Am and AM learning…….

GOD knows I need to learn….as well as the rest of me/us…myself, my self and i and I………

So thanks GRANDPA, PAPA, CM ATON……..IT IS ALL GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Anyway….

Something good has happened…I know not yet what….but I know that something good has happened…

Something that affects all of us……….i mean…really….i don’t really feel all of the little things that people do to help each other out…..moment to moment…in love and fellowship and brotherhood and familyhood and sharing and love and love of GOD…….that stuff actually does happen all the time pretty much everywhere on this planet….human beings do help each other and care for each other and love each other and the do the right thing and the right things…..all the time…..you just don’t hear about it because it gets in the way of all that dark programming that is being constantly foisted upon you in order to get to think and believe otherwise

They want you to think and believe that human beings are born in sin and thus, are evil and always do evil things and good things are…aberrations…when the exact opposite is true…but that’s for you to discern and decide…I’m just sayin’…..once again…and now to all of you: IF YOU WANT TO BE FREE, STOP BELIEVING YOUR SLAVEMASTERS….AND STOP COOPERATING WITH THEM AND DOING THEIR WILL INSTEAD OF GOD’S WILL….

But that’s n you…I’m doing my best……as it is…being poor and needy and weak and stupid…yes…I am all these things…

Even now the house is…again, liened on for taxes and I have to figure out how to raise it……..pray for me and us…..it’s happened before, but for the life of me, I want to earn the hated cash, myself…..but because it is so hated…..i am at a loss as to how to do it……but I have asked and have been told not to worry…..that’s hard for me…I worry all the time…and I really do need to stop, I agree…..just to be out of debt would be a miracle…how far and hard and long and deeply should I hope and pray for one?

We’ve always been bailed out in the past….mind you this is the third time the property tax thing has happened…..but this time I am praying to be able to come up with it myself and I still have to figure out exactly what that means……

And there isn’t even supposed to be time for this, in my mind and sight…but who am I to say?

While I try to learn how not to worry

Because GOD has the power to do anything and GOD is in control….

I saw that on the back of a car in front of me, just earlier today…..the license plate and the sticker said it all……[GOD PW 2] GOD’S POWER TO……….[smile]

Clues and signs in all things within and around you all the time if ye would just notice and discern it…..lol…I do my best to do so…….and there it is…….”Don’t worry…GOD is in control” sayeth the divine bumper sticker just when I need it most……

And it doesn’t matter what I need or think I need or say I need or want to need or want or need to want or want to want

GOD IS IN CONTROL…and I should best be rejoicing in that fact of life and being…in GOD…..

Poor house…stuck with me for an owner….roof needs fixing…fence falling apart….cracks, flooding…..

And still for some strange reason…the house loves me…..?

My poor wife…stuck with me for a husband……no money to go out with or do things or take a vacation or a second honeymoon on the 10th anniversary [I’m working on it….i’m working on it…GOD help me…smile]

Poor dogs…stuck with us as masters….the run of the backyard is their world and they are together and love each other…..good thing….can’t afford a vet, so no shots…no shots no groomer…they’re stuck with me for that….oh god…how they look! Yet they are still happy to see me even if I don’t give a treat or dinner…just petting and rubbing and scratching is enough…no longer can they come upstairs into the house because of the allergy issue….poor dear things….i feel that they are us and we are them and as we treat them, perhaps GOD treats us the same way……….lol…I want to go upstairs, too…….lol…..

Sometimes the little one, the male…the thinker…..the planner…the instigator…..gets through the door and runs up and around…God bless him…..i guess I do that as well……

THEY tell me not to worry about it or them…they’re safe and happy and well fed and have their routine and their own little world to be happy in and they love us…I learn from them on these points….

To love GOD as the dogs love us…….and I only want to give them more than they have……sigh…

The kids are okay….

The grandchildren are having growing pains……

We’re them for them, of course…..but it’s their parents call…we’re just support and back-up….

Lol

And thank GOD for that…….the joy of being a Grandparent is the beauty of indirect influence…heheh…I wonder what GRANDPA would have to say about that?…nevermind…..sometimes you have to be direct….but that is not our situation so I count our blessings on that one…..but the family is close and we all support each other fully and it is a joy to behold…….

The generation right before us is slowly passing away and soon…we will be it…the elders….on my side of the family, this is already the case…for my wife’s side… it is happening now……so things are… fluctuating constantly…it is a time of enduring change…..people are passing on…it is that time in the family generation…and it’s never easy……

As for the rest….it’s all money….which I’ve never excelled at…mybad…..but there was no other way to get here, to this place where I am in mind and heart and being and even in physicality…I’ve been tested and tortured…I’ve been trained and sent through my paces….i have learned and improved and still there is always that much more to learn and improve of myself….and so it goes…

And still wait for this system of things as it is failing and falling to fail and fall completely and finally…..

And I see it coming and I see it happening and in the meantime…..i go through this and realize that everybody is experiencing variations on the same them…….LOL…even rich people are suffering and complaining….and living beyond even their means and losing property and resources and influence….

Eh

I still lam convinced that I am growing and getting better in spite of myself….somehow, I will be stronger….get stronger…mightier….smarter….i crave to reach the very beginnings of wisdom…..

I was young and stupid

Now I am older and less stupid

And I pray to one day to be not stupid…..if such a thing is possible……

I have no problems winning the lottery and two weeks in Hawaii wouldn’t solve…..SMILE

But that’s not up to me….

I still depend upon the kindness of other to make it through my days…we can pay the utilities

The government pays for the food….yes really….

Others have been kind enough to help us pay the mortgage

The property taxes are beyond me

As well as the rest….sigh

And I scream to the heavens:

THERE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TIME FOR THIS!!!!!!

Yet another reason I am experiencing this in the here and now of things here and now….

Perhaps I depend too much upon GOD

NAAAAH

What else is there to depend on?

Keep doing the work

The work is within

The work is all and everything

All else is…..lol….experience…….

Best to concentrate on experiencing the work

A catch-22 ……sucker fell right in my lap…but I caught it….right?

But who am I to complain?

Too many don’t even have it as good as I do in all of this mess of a world system….

So I am asking for prayers

Prayers that I can find a way to take care of all of this once and for all

And keep working, WORKING

Without distraction and just devote myself to this that I love so very much….

But that may not be what GOD wants, after all

I just may need such hardships and strivings

It is what got me here, after all

And I wouldn’t change a thing if I could

Even about the money…….

All the past has done is to bring me…lead me here to

This present future

As I travel to a future present

That will tell me more

Reveal to me….more

See me being……. more

Than I have ever been before

And still

A future beyond that will also reveal the same……

I pray that I can provide for and protect my loved ones…no matter what happens to me…

This is my most earnest prayer in all of this

They will have to decide their own meanings and ways in life

But I am responsible for their welfare

In many ways

So I aim to do my best

And pray that PAPA and CM ATON and GRNAPA

Will at least grant them safe passage with or in spite of me

They will have to decide for themselves how far they are willing to go with me and with GOD

Or one or the other

Or neither

I

I have to go all the way

Through all the threats and death threats and machinations and opposition and what have you and have you not…..

That is on me

They should not have to suffer for it

But I have to keep going forward and upwards regardless of it all…….with or without them….

So it is up to them as to what to do with their relationship with me and what it means and could mean for them as well….God be with them fully through all of it…….

That being the case…..i just want to work my everGODloving ass off without interruption or distraction…

But

I will leave all that up to PAPA and GRANDPA and CMATON as one….and act accordingly…..

So please…pray for me…pray I figure out a way to keep all of this going without losing what I have left to lose…..lol…i really do like it here with these people and things…please forgive me for that…I can’t help it…I do still seem to have some attachments, after all….smile…..but can do without if needs must be…

Pray that we find a way to make or earn the resources and funding needed to not just take care of this instance, but to forever insure that such a thing never happens again….

That’s what I want….

I will do what I have to do

Whatever it may be that is good in GOD’s Sight and Will…..

I just need to find out what that is…….

SO PLEASE PRAY TO GOD TO SHOW ME AND TELL ME AND EXPLAIN TO ME AND INSTRUCT ME AND HOLD MY HAND AND WALK ME THROUGH IT…

Because I am sooo tired of this shit and have only myself to blame…as far as the meaning of that goes….i understand…no really…I get it…but this is my experience and I have to deal with and deal with it I am and this is what I’ve got, for now….i need your prayers….

It’s not that I’m in any position to turn down any monetary resources that you may have to offer….far from it…it’s just that I would feel as being less of a burden if I could do more for myself in this regard…even as the system fails and falls…I still have to deal with what is here and now and that means being stuck in the fiat currency trap until the alternative becomes manifest and the solution is implemented…..until then…just like everyone else…..i have figure out how to pay for stuff and living…..i beg forgiveness for being such as I am…..

So pray

Please pray

Pray that GOD helps me find a way through all this without burdening others any more than I already have and do…..it would mean a lot to me…really….to have your support for being better able to support myself and my loved ones….that’s all I want to be able to do better than I have…..

Enough

Thanks for hearing me out and reading this long, arduous…confessional rant…I apologize for putting here…but I needed to get it out of my system…..poor you…stuck with me to read…grin…ah well…

That’s all

GOD BELSS US ALL EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME AND EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Kibo{THEY keep telling me that I’ll be fine and not to worry, but I keep thinking that I should be doing something and just don’t know what to do….i’m working on that…really…but I need to learn how to follow my own teaching better and not worry……sigh…but I’ so damn good at it! Lol..let it go…let it go}Dabi

About KIBODABI

I AM THAT I AM THAT I AM
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13 Responses to CONFESSIONAL….WITH APOLOGIES….

  1. Melody says:

    Some of what I’ve done to make the very little money I have monthly work, with costs skyrocketing.. I’ve tried to analyze moves I do around the house.

    1. My house was bought as a damaged house, 2 different owners, 2 different bank foreclosures, Yet property taxes seemed high, yet where I live house costs are higher than where you live. I researched and went through comparable house values for my area and what the other owners pay for taxes. During the time on the tax form where you can fight the cost of the taxes, I filled out the form the tax assessor provides and was able to lower the value of my house on their records with what I showed them which also lowered my taxes. Otherwise, during this same period of time, you have to provide a professional real estate appraisal for value which costs so I tried to do it honestly, with proof, myself.

    2. Three months before property taxes are due, I try to put away money, pull it out of the bank and hide the money, not to be touched, and then when the bill is due I’m not hit so bad. The utility company will many times make arrangements for their bill to be paid late as long as you always keep to the payment arrangement commitment. One error, that privileged is removed.

    3. Some lending companies will allow, 1 time a year only, an interest payment only on a bill, at least they used to. Means you pay the bank interest but the principal is not paid. Some people will stay a head of their bank payments 1 or 2 months, always pay the larger full amount, and doing this will pay down the principal faster because the extra goes against the principal.

    4. Some people are taking out the type of loan where the money goes off the sale of the house when the owner sells the house. You have to always have bank loan, property taxes and insurance on time on the house or your could loose out. I can’t think of the name of this loan but some are happy with it. Myself, I’m leary of this bank loan the way our economy is.

    5. Property taxes has priority over other bills, including utilities. Sometimes the utility bills will make late payment arrangements for you.

    6. I have no cable tv. Cable TV is a luxury and a cost that can be cut. You can get a wall tv antenna for local tv for the cost of 1 – 3 bills, depending on the quality of the antenna you get. You can also start with the cheap wall tv antenna and later get the one that has higher reception with the better one runs around $100,00

    7. I wash clothes in cold water with cold water laundry detergent. This save the water gas heating bill. I have also saved by drip drying all the clothes on a indoor laundry rack but clothes come out a little hard and wrinkly. I have also put clothes in the dryer for only 1/4 of the time to get the wrinkles and lent out, then drip dry. This saves on the electrical cost.

    8. I hand wash the dishes and rinse with slow running cold water. This saves money on the electric cost of a dishwasher, saves money on the water bill, and saves money on the gas heating water bill when not as hot water used and rinse of dishes is colder water that is run slow.

    9. I buy freezer bags, quart and gallon, which the bags are thicker. I wash the bags and reuse them.

    10. I buy large bags of food, ex vegetables, hash browns, cheese, frozen vegetables, and rebag the food into serving sizes of what would be used before expiration date, then I freeze the bags. I found, for ex. brocolli, 79 cents to $1.29 a pound, fresh, the frozen was much cheaper.

    11. There are numerous types of discount places, I try to use them and have saved money going this direction. I try to only buy what’s needed. This includes thrift stores, consignment stores, flea markets, discount stores where they buy discounted or over supply or partially damaged items, etc. I bought what looked like a new car bumper from one of these stores for near 1/2 off and they had a discount person for installation that did an excellent job.

    12. Buying things like Starbucks coffee, etc., are luxuries. To save, when I make coffee, I make enough for the day and put the hot coffee in a thermal which saves on the electric bill.

    13. I have bought used tires, very good deal 1 time but second time ended up with a crook. I have also bought numerous car replacement parts from car junk yards. They have a 1 month guarantee. My older DatsunZ car years ago, I bought a $800 radio for $100 there. My pistons, then, went out, car fuel injector pistons are very expensive, found a known good and reputable mechanic that would get the parts from the junk yard, he made sure they worked when he put it into the engine (1 didn’t and was replaced), but he would not guarantee longevity or his work. Had no problem with the used pistons.

    14. Of course I make sure lights are off when I leave a room.

    15. During winter the utility bill is too expensive. I close numerous doors to rooms to save on the heat. I don’t have drapes up yet, but have for half the rooms after I can paint. Some of the drapes, perfect size and style, lined, custom, I bought at thrift stores for $10 and $12 for large and multi windows rooms, expensive excellent shape drapes. Closing drapes keeps the heat in. Also sealing the heat leaks.

    I have worn thermal clothing and covered the birds cage to keep her warm and kept the heat down 2 years to 55 – 58 degrees, sometimes with a small electric heater at my feet. Sometimes I would be so cold I would become numb and stay under the blankets in bed to try to thaw out. But I couldn’t afford a high bill so I had to do something to lower the utility bill. At that time a tree was grown over the chimney and I was unable nor would climb the roof for other reasons, until I could get the tree removed, which cost money, and now still need simple fireplace repair, but eventually will be able to go that route, almost there.

    16. There are places that will help you on the heating bill if you can’t afford it.

    17. I’m a premadonna, used to have hair perfect and kept in shape, always made up. No more, even a hair cut is a luxury right now, I can’t afford my beautician, bills come first.

    18. I’ve even had to cut on tow service insurance, I stay close. I don’t go far from the house, just in case. This one is a soon priority.

    17. I don’t have food stamps but was eligible and applied, thief problem which included then my mail so that paperwork and identity theft from break ins was stolen, you’re fortunate you have it. Neighbor thief even murdered my cat, after murdering my dog, I got sick where I think he poisoned my food after 1 bite, was into other food of mine I threw away, then tried 2 times to falsely arrest me on fake charges and then tried court to get rid of me on false charges, all in less than 2 months, before/near Valentines Day. Four years of theft, including my gun I can’t afford to replace, and harassment and house damage from him, now 2 cases of murder, he gets a kick out of it. So this situation may happen during the collapse to others and preparation now is needed. Every cent spent needs to be analyzed. Going out for fun is a luxory but there are free events, just bring your own water bottle that you re-fill and re-use, eat before you go, that’s what I’ve done. Buying drinks is a luxory,

    Property Taxes need to be Priority 1, the city makes money off the sale of others property, even taking from car violation stops. Not fun but maybe you can rent a room. You can do garage sales or take things for sale at flea markets, ex the Christ Michael t-shirts with your Urantia book at the sale for explanation to the people, people want original. The Urantia Book is advertised and sold at psychic/mataphysical faires so you may be able to sell the t-shirts there, maybe a share of space with the Urantia booth where both save money by splitting the cost. You can work at simple computer repair cheap or computer web site set-ups or security computer set-ups for people at a lower than store price or other part time computer help, just put up an advertisement, but may need a gen bus license. Any computer work at the house would be a tax deduction for the computer work, ex you measure off a room you use out of the house which is a tax deduction from the mortgage cost along with water and heating and light needed – ie they have you measure the size of the room then you calculate by percentage the size of the house vs the size of the room (ex room is 12% of the house), makes home as a bus tax write-off including ex 12% of the utility bill. Traveling expense is also a discount, must keep car mileage reading when you go to their house to do the computer work, if not done at,your home, includes gas tax deduction and car depreciation, also time you can route and stop by the grocery or other store on the way, on the same route, . Phone is different, not a write-off unless the phone number is only for the bus. Some places will sell items for people and you rent their floor space.

    Taking old computers and rebuilding computers from those parts and selling the rebuilt computers is good money the way our economy is. Rewiring/reprogramming computers to secure from hacking problems, which includes stopping hacking via the router, another way of securing computers, is also good extra money, in demand but few do it.
    .

    Like

    • Melody says:

      Forgot; Coupons. Grocery discounts that you can get from Sun. newspapers or print coupons from the computer. Time consuming but can save much. Then you can also use when a store has a savings on that item. Various stores will give coupons over the internet, to be used at their local stores. For ex., PepBoys, monthly coupons for items, you may have to wait a couple of months for what you want, includes tires. BesyBuy, got a $5.00 movie DVD coupon for a movie I wanted. I’ve gotten free hair dye. Software programs for computers, took cost from WalMart and bought at a computer store who was giving a percentage sale off the item, did price comparison, got the cheap cost price for the product with the additional sale discount, saved about 40%.

      Like

    • Melody says:

      Bank loan, payment during death or resale, is called a Reverse Mortgage.

      Like

    • Melody says:

      ” Any computer work at the house would be a tax deduction for the computer work, ex you measure off a room you use out of the house which is a tax deduction from the mortgage cost along with water and heating and light needed – ie they..”

      Typo tired error, should read ‘is a tax deduction from the IRS tax bill’, will help you go long form.

      I’ve done this with 2 in-home part time jobs I used to have.
      .

      Like

  2. theo says:

    but Father, I said
    his service
    to man
    and Gaia
    is immeasurable!
    “So will be his reward”.
    I pray for him, Father.
    “Do know
    even these prayers
    he asked
    are not for him –
    all are for you”.

    Like

  3. Sujin Kim says:

    I love you Kibo.
    I hate that you go through such hard situations.
    I set my visions for your abundance.
    God Kibo be abundant!
    Well you already are.
    Kibo’s money problem will be taken care of.
    I say with my heart’s desire.

    Like

  4. Sujin Kim says:

    I love you Kibo.
    I hate that you are going through so much suffering.
    Damn!
    I wish for your abundance!

    Like

  5. Elaine says:

    You rant all you want. We all have to let it out now and again. It’s all sunshine and roses when we think of what “could be” and listening to the words “soon my child” or “you’re not alone”, but WE HAVE TO LIVE HERE AND IT AIN’T NO FUCKIN” PICNIC!!! (Sometimes I just want to go to sleep and never wake up but that’s the easy way out). Don’t get me wrong; I am Grateful for what I’ve been given however, every day is a struggle to do Gods will but I must. I PROMISED. You will get what you need Kibo. I just KNOW you will. GOD’S BLESSINGS BE UPON YOU MY FRIEND

    Like

    • Brian says:

      Connections…Elaine…..I always see connections…..long story short…..THE DIVINE FIRE is now burning on the ‘outside’ as I saw it in a dream I had last night……IT was burning on top of PICNIC table…smile…..and I went over to it and ‘fed’ IT some more fuel…
      Thanks for being there….

      …….My Love does it good…….

      Like

  6. Mathias says:

    aye aye sir, prayers, blessings and all good things coming your way ^^ much love bro

    Like

  7. morgenstern says:

    You are blessed my brother, my prayer is with you, thank you for being HUMAN walking and working with God, Mother loves you too,like we all love you for your work, you and your family will be fine, you actually know it my friend, no limits for a man working and walking with God…the wright way will open for you and all.

    Like

  8. sandra says:

    I know how you feel Kibo. I have a friend that tells me all the time: LET IT GO AND LET GOD, HE WILL HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. MEANWHILE, I will pray that you receive everything that you need to help you do your job. Don’t worry, be happy! Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU.

    Like

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